Ahhh...the senses... strange these days walking Downtown on a weekend night...with the smell of steak, seasonings and fried portions floating thru the air. What once used to stimulate my tastebuds and my tummy is no more... I am beyond thrilled...I mean above and beyond thrilled that the following changes have taken place... seriously I thought I was afflicted with the
"TOO MUCH FOOD... TOO LITTLE TIME" disease...and that I would never
"be free" or
"feel normal".
Even after losing over 60 lbs...I can go further, I am going further, I am taking down the walls...only to reveal my true sense of self.
- The smell of rich and heavy foods bother me
- I would much rather have a good quality meal as opposed to quick and fried
- If it's too sweet...eeewwww!
- I know when to STOP...holy smacks... who would've thunk it!
- I now buy seaweed snacks by the case
- I cannot tolerate processed foods...I get sick
- I have learned I need to buy Tofu by the case too
Since September 5th, I have been a Vegetarian. I heavily lean on a Vegan lifestyle at this stage...
This weekend I was involved in alot of Zumba events...and had the opportunity to see pics that were taken of me... I was like "what, that's me?". My husband...a psychologist, has often times talked to me about "distorted body image"...and I have to say after years of holding hurts in my heart ...years of dealing with my image... I am slowly but surely starting to see the real me not the picture painted by others of me. Since childhood I had to deal with being the "fatty"... even in my adult years... a former boss giving me a twisted compliment of "you look good today, even for a fatty"...then even to a couple of instructors close to me ...unfortunately saying they could not respect me because I was fat. These are some big hurts to get over...and shame on them right? I mean who says stuff like that...people with no hearts that's who...
The road to wellness is that of deciding, planning and doing. Along the way...so much healing will take place...it is unreal! So onward...let's take on month 2 of the new me...let's go shopping for more Vegan good-finds... and I am about to toss out all those"too big" clothes... really...why should I save them in my closet ...I'll never wear THEM again...
--------> one of the pictures from this weekend with my bucket of sunshine ZIN friend, Ruthie! next on the list is finding my "whatever-pack" that is hiding under the tummy...
